When it’s not just one thing – it’s everything!
This post is a follow-up to my free quiz — What’s Actually Getting In Your Way? If you haven’t taken it yet, you can do that before you read on.
Most people who take the quiz land in one category pretty clearly. They read their result and feel that it resonates with them.
But some people don’t… They read through all four options and think that all of them apply depending on the day and what’s going on. Or maybe they all apply, all the time!
If that’s you, then this post is for you.
First… you haven’t failed the quiz!
Not landing neatly in one category isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong or that the quiz doesn’t work for you. It’s actually really helpful information.
It shows that instead of getting stuck in one part of the process, you’re dealing with a whole system that’s overloaded. And that’s a different problem, which needs a different solution.
What actually going on
Your brain has a set of skills it uses to plan, start, focus, manage time, and regulate your emotions. These are your executive functions, and they all draw from the same pool of resources.
When life is manageable, that pool replenishes itself. You might struggle a bit here and there, but broadly speaking, you can function ok.
When life gets life-y, or when you’re dealing with too much, or when things have been hard for a while, or when you’ve been pushing through on willpower for longer than is sensible – then that pool runs low. And when it runs low, everything gets harder.
Starting feels impossible.
Staying on track feels impossible.
Bouncing back from a setback feels impossible.
Finishing things feels impossible.
It’s not that you’ve suddenly become incompetent. It’s that you’re trying to run a full life on low battery.
Why more strategies won’t help right now
This is the bit I really want you to hear.
When everything feels like a block, the instinct is often to find a better system. This often looks like seeking a new framework, a productivity method, another course or book or mentor, or a reorganisation of your to-do list.
I’ve been there, and I have the billions of notebooks and scrappy notes to prove it.
But what I’ve learned, both from my own experience and from working with clients, is that when your whole system is overwhelmed, adding more information just makes things worse. When you’re overwhelmed, your brain doesn’t have the capacity to implement anything new – it’s already at its limit.
What actually helps
Before you think about adding a new strategy, we need to factor in regulation.
Your brain has two modes: a threat response mode (where it’s scanning for danger and trying to keep you safe), and a settled mode (where it can actually think clearly, make decisions, and take action).
When everything feels like too much, you’re operating from your threat response. You can’t logic ot think your way into feeling okay. You have to do something that signals to your brain that it’s safe to settle.
The fastest way I know to do that is to stop trying to do anything useful for a few minutes and just breathe. Not in a vague, wellness-y way – but deliberately, in a pattern that your nervous system recognises as a safety signal.
Try breathing out for longer than you breathe in.
You could breathe in for four counts, and out for six or eight, or whatever number feels comfortable for you. Do that three or four times and notice what feels different.
It works because the longer exhale stimulates your vagus nerve, which sends a direct signal to your brain that you’re safe. You’re switching your brain into a mode where it can function properly again.
From there, one small thing becomes possible.
The one thing
When everything feels urgent and overwhelming, the temptation is to try to sort all of it. Make a big plan, and get on top of everything at once.
But don’t.
Instead, ask yourself one question: what’s the smallest possible thing I could do today that would make tomorrow feel slightly easier?
It doesn’t need to be the most important thing or the most impressive thing. Just make it the smallest useful thing you can think of in the moment.
Have that as your starting point, and just do that.
A note on being busy-brained
If you recognise yourself in this – the whole-system overload, the everything-at-once stuck feeling – this section might be a helpful reframe.
Busy-brained people are more susceptible to this pattern than most. Your brain is wired for novelty, connection, and ideas. It likes to take on a lot, and it cares deeply about things.
That same wiring that makes you creative and engaged and full of ideas also means your executive function resources deplete faster than average. This means that recovery isn’t optional, you need to think about it as maintenance so you can continue to do the things you want to be doing.
Where to go from here
I’ve put together a short audio called Calm in 3. It’s a few minutes of guided hypnotherapy – think of it as a tool to help your system settle so you can think clearly again. It’s free, and you can get it here:
And if you want to be somewhere that gets it – where you can ask questions, share what’s actually going on, and be around other busy-brained people who are figuring this out – come and find us in The Starting Place. It’s free, private, and there’s more of this kind of thing in there.
If you’d like to go deeper and work 1:1 with me, you can find out more about that here:
Or get in touch to ask questions or book your free discovery call
Kate x